Dear Friend,
Remember the cool kids who could ride their bikes at incredible speeds down the street and then come to a screeching halt as they slammed on the brakes and skidded sideways? Extra points if you visualize the bike with a banana seat. The past few months have felt like that, a wild ride, sometimes exhilarating, often just a bit too much.
As I sit in my dark living room early on this Tuesday morning, a lit candle and a mug of coffee next to me, I’m just about to put on the brakes and pause the wild ride of 2023.
I’m a fan of new beginnings. I love mornings, Mondays, and a brand new year. Give me a fresh planner and time to dream, and I can fill it with all kinds of hope. But before I do, it’s important to pause, to look back over the past year and ask myself a few questions. Care to join me?
Reflections on 2023
What is one good decision you made this year?
Name a project you completed or a goal you reached.
Share something beautiful from 2023.
I’ll go first.
What is one good decision you made?
The one that comes to mind is my decision to limit traveling related to work and ministry while Ebenezer and Wogayu finish high school. I’ve been surprised by how much I’m needed at home. I also don’t want to miss anything important. Being at every one of Ebenezer’s senior football games was a joy. No regrets. One and a half more years with kids in high school and I want to finish strong.
Name a project you completed or a goal you reached.
If I had to choose two words for my work this year they would be demanding and productive. Adoption Wise was very busy! In March, we published Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith. We pushed ourselves, writing for long hours at a time. As soon as it was released, we dove into writing a group curriculum, Foundations for Overcoming and Preventing Blocked Care. Over Thanksgiving, we recorded the audiobook of Reclaim Compassion which will release early in 2024.
Amid the book flurry, we also rebranded from The Adoption Connection to Adoption Wise. We learned a thing or two about trademark law and how long the process takes! We also grew our group coaching program and I took on a good number of private coaching clients.
In my personal ministry, I launched my first SoulCare for Adoptive Mom retreats, hosting one in April and a second in October. These are very small retreats focused on connecting with the Lord and with one another. This has been a dream of my heart for years and I’m tentatively moving forward, very aware that I need to pace myself while my boys are still home. I’ll tell you more soon.
Share something beautiful from 2023.
Time spent with our kids and our sweet granddaughters has been the most beautiful part of my year. I can’t get enough of those sweet babies and wish I lived closer to both of them. Celebrating Christmas with them and our entire family is going to be special this year.
Will you share an answer or two to my questions in the comments? Let’s reflect on 2023 together. Or just say hello - I’d love to hear from you.
A final thought.
I remember a Christmas when the words running through my mind each day were, “Fall on your knees,” from O Holy Night. It was all I could manage. I couldn’t “repeat the sounding joy.” Sometimes I could barely breathe.
You may be in the thick of parenting children who experienced early adversity and are struggling. You may be dealing with big behaviors and face the days with fear in your heart. I haven’t forgotten how this feels. You are not alone. Jesus is near - He is our Emmanuel, God with us, and I’m praying for you as I send this.
Next time you hear from me it will be 2024! Don’t be surprised if I’m excited about a year still brimming with possibilities, not to mention a shiny, new planner.
Remember, you're a good parent doing good work, and I think the world of you.
Merry Christmas.
With love and hope,
Lisa
1. A good decision made this year was to shut off the screens in house, full stop. I'm not sure if this is a permanent decision, or just a season we are going through, but it has been one of the best resets for our family dynamic that we've had since we became a family of five back in 2020. We have rediscovered so many activities and things in our home, and in a lot of ways, I think my boys have rediscovered each other.
2. For years since COVID, I have wanted to get back into leading in-person women's Bible Study at my church, and for lots of reasons, both personal and within the church, it just wasn't happening. But this fall I taught Hebrews with a group of a dozen women, and I was so, so grateful that the Lord graciously aligned my life and the leadership at our church to make that happen!
3. Next weekend, I'll be singing Handel's Messiah (first time singing with a choir since college!), and it's just a beautiful way to experience the scriptures about Jesus, especially in the Advent season. I've had to really scale back on what things I can do that are "just me" things in this season of motherhood, and this short commitment to the Messiah was another beautiful gift from the Lord over the last six weeks.
One good decision I made this year was to read directly from the Bible with my girls during our morning devotions. It started with Psalms and Proverbs. We went to James then read a couple of Paul's letters. Then we went through the gospels and read through the entire New Testament. Unintentionally, I have read the New Testament with each of my children during the 5th grade. Well, I'm sure it was the Holy Spirit guiding me. I don't have all the answers or always know what to say or what they need, but reading the Word will always result in blessing for all of us!
A goal I reached was starting a monthly Adoptive/Foster/Kinship moms group at my church. I am so grateful to share the journey will others moms who get it. I missed the group I was a part of in the last state I lived and wanted others to have a place to be honest and encouraged! We are going through Created to Connect (along with sharing from The Connected Child and The Connected Parent)!
Blessings upon blessings!